Author: Nam Joon Kim

World Tag Team Championship

The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan v. The Perfect Show

Mean Gene — Fighting for the SBW Tag Team Championship, weighing in at a combined weight of 640 pounds is the Perfect Show. The team of the Undertaker and Hulk Hogan weigh in at a combined weight of 611 pounds.

Big Show — Hogan, prepare to suffer from the power of the Big Show.

Hulkster — Listen brother, you’ll feel the power of the training and the vitamins of Hulk Hogan as I answer all the prayers of the little Hulksters out there and let Hulkamania run wild over you.

Undertaker — You will Rest In Peace.

Perfect — My technical perfection and the Big Show’s power will bury the Undertaker and send all those Hulkamaniacs running to Mama in tears.

Big Show — Noohhhhbooodddyyy beats the Perfect Show.

Perfect — Nobody.

Brain — Look at Hogan, already crowding in front of the Undertaker to block him out of the camera. With a partner like Hogan, you don’t need an enemy.

World Tag Team Championship

The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan v. The Perfect Show

Brain — Mr. Flair is receiving medical treatment after the vicious attack on his person from Gail Kim, so I invited the Hart Foundation to join us ringside for this title showdown.

Jimmy Hart — Those aren’t tag teams. Those are circus acts from a freak show.

Gorilla — The Big Show and Mr. Perfect are two of the finest wrestlers on the planet. The combination of Perfect’s technical prowess and Show’s raw power are formidable. And the Undertaker and Hulk Hogan are legends.

Jimmy Hart — But are they truly a tag team? Do they know how to work together? SBW is just going for publicity by pairing Hogan with Undertaker.

Brain —  Undertaker is a phenom on his own. The deadman can’t be hurt. But Hogan is overrated, nothing but a muscle bound beach bum. Does Undertaker even like Hogan?  We already know that Hogan likes nobody other than Hogan. How can they work together in the way that tag team wrestling requires?

Gorilla — Hogan is the only one who can match the the Big Shows’ power.

Hitman — But can they work together? Do they have the excellence of execution that the Hart Foundation has shown time and time again? We deserve to be in this match.

United States Title qualifier
Big John Studd v. Samoa Joe

Kofi — Who is going to win the United States Title?

Woods — Who? Who? Who?

Big E — Big E!

 

United States Title qualifier
Big John Studd v. Samoa Joe

Samoa Joe — I’m coming for you Big E. John Studd was bigger than you, and I put him to sleep. So what do you think will happen when I meet you for the United States strap next week?

Big E — Sour Joe, I sleep at night and always have a good breakfast. I don’t need a nap from you

United States Title qualifier
Big John Studd v. Samoa Joe

Brain — He’s getting those pancakes all over my tux. How can I meet the Rosatti sisters after the show with crumbs all over me?

Gorilla — Bring them some pancakes. At least that way, they won’t have to pay for their own dinners this time.

Brain — The janitors better get in here and clean this up before the next match. They can put those pancakes right in the dumpster out back so Brawler has something to eat.