Gorilla Monsoon — Welcome to this Broadcast Special presentation of Seoul Brothers Wrestling. We are here to see real professional wrestling and the crowning of the World Women’s Champion, the World Tag Team Champions, and the World Wrestling Champion. I’m Gorilla Monsoon, and this is Bobby “the Brain” Heenan. We are coming to you live from the Windy City. And speaking of a lot of wind, here’s Ric Flair.

Bobby the Brain Heenan — That’s Mr. Flair, you big Ape. So, Mr. Flair, thank you for flying in on your private jet to take the time to talk to us and the humanoids out there in our audience. How do you feel about the travesty of you, the best professional wrestling has to offer, being left out of the title match?

Flair — AJ Styles knows he has no chance against the Nature Boy. I’m a stylin’ and profilin’ man of culture and beauty. Styles is nothing but a gymnast in too tight leather pants. Did I say leather? Knowing Styles, his pants are pleather. My robe costs more than that hic from the sticks’ house.

Gorilla — Feel that hot air. The Windy City has nothing on Flair. The man is all talk. He and his daughter, Charlotte, were not sanctioned in today’s title matches for a reason, Brain. They just aren’t at their best right now. They have got to prove themselves in the squared circle before they—

Brain — You might know bananas, Gorilla, but you don’t seem to know much about what goes on behind the curtains here at SBW. This is nothing but politics. Take it from me, the Brain. The powers that be are not the sharpest forks in the drawer.

Flair — Asuka. Banks. Styles. None of them are fit to wash the Nature Boy’s limo or iron the queen’s robe. Woooooooooo!

Brain —SBW must be fair to Flair.

Flair — I may not get that chance to win the ten pounds of gold today, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a flair for the gold.

Brain — That’s right. Mr. Flair has taken Jimmy Wang Yang under his wing.

Flair — It they won’t let the man have the big gold belt, the man is going to be the man behind the new man. I will show all of you that Flair beats style any day. Wooooooo!

Gorilla — We’ve exhausted this conversation. Weasel, let’s get down to ringside so we can call the first match.

Brain — I am not a Weasel.

Press Conference

World Wrestling Championship: A.J. Styles vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

yang styles

Commissioner Kim — Jimmy Wang Yang will battle AJ Styles for the World Wrestling Championship.

Jimmy Wang Yang — I’m sorry that this has to end this way. I respect you, but I have to beat you.

AJ Styles — You’re going to have plenty of time to milk cows after you lose to the phenomenal one. You can use Flair’s robes to keep the cows warm.

Ric Flair — Styles, you wish you would have the flair that Yang has. He’s not milking cows anymore because I’m teaching him how to drink champagne. Woooooo!

Press Conference

World Women’s Championship: Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

asuka banks

Mean Gene — Sasha Banks and Asuka will wrestle for the World Women’s Championship.

Asuka — You think you are ready for Asuka, but Asuka has done nothing but prepare for Banks. Asuka eats, breathes, and sleeps only to fight. You are not ready for Asuka.

Sasha Banks — I am so glad that you brought your mask. You will need it to hide behind when this Legit Boss kicks the Empress off her throne. When you play the game of thrones, there can be only one Boss.

Press Conference

World Tag Team Championship: Hulk Hogan and the Undertaker vs. The Perfect Show

Tag 3

Jimmy Hart — I like how you waited until today to reveal the Perfect Show’s opponents. You like mystery? You want suspense? Just wait until you see who shows up to watch your match. Whoever wins won’t be champ for long because my Hart Foundation will be coming for those belts.

Teddy Long — Holla, Holla, Holla cause you have forgotten about Harlem Heat. Who has Hogan and Undertaker beaten to deserve this title opportunity?

Commissioner Kim — We will talk about who will face the World Tag Team Champions after the title match, my friends. This is not the time for such negotiations, and I do not appreciate this grandstanding.